Swound! – We Are A Danger (Stressed Sumo Records)
There’s definitely something in here. Unfortunately you have to plough through two minutes of self-consciously irritating faux-punk to get there. The vocals are flat and the lyrics uninspiring, and there’s a break for group screaming that desperately wants to be dangerous and out of control, but rather ends up as a grating slice of ‘look [...]
Review: Days of Darkness
Ah zombies, how I love the myriad ways in which you are foisted upon us by filmmakers big and small. Whether it’s Romero’s mysterious plague of walking dead or Danny Boyle’s fleet-footed angry slaverers, you come at us from radiation, gas leaks, military experiments gone wrong and voodoo magic. Though you may lack the élan of the more stylish undead at the vampire-end of the spectrum, I have to admire your resourcefulness. In Days of Darkness, the zombies are caused by parasitic aliens dropped by a passing comet, who replace our genitals with little wriggly pink aliens and make us develop that urge for a late-night, all-you-can-eat brains diner.
Iron Man DVD review
Batman has a lot to answer for. Not that I’m holding DC’s finest responsible for the entire glut of superhero franchises flung our way with neither thought nor care for the quality of the final product, so long as it sates our allegedly unquenchable thirst for boys and girls in costumes lobbing stuff at each [...]
1-2-3-4
Hey, here’s something exciting. I’m in a movie! The guitarist from our band, Giles, hasn’t played with us for the best part of a year because he’s been writing, directing, producing and now promoting his first full-length film. Earlier in the year, we went down to a dingy north London gig venue to appear in [...]
Funny Games U.S. and the horror of remakes
I don’t like remakes. In fact, if there’s one thing in cinema I dislike more than remakes, it’s remakes of my
favourite movies. Take The Ring, a particularly fine example of ruining a masterpiece in the process of diluting it for a more mainstream audience. It throws in all sorts of inexplicable and pointless devices (isn’t [...]
Dude, Cloverfield, like, totally sucks
In a striking example of just how much I am at the cutting edge of cinema criticism, I just got round to watching Cloverfield. I’d been very much looking forward to seeing it on account of a couple of glowing reviews from friends, the proliferation of online chatter about how it either, like, totally rocks [...]
